One thing I often see in families is the “closing shift” consisting of the parents picking up their children’s toys, usually after the kids are asleep.
Now, this speaks volumes about the hard-working parents hustling to make sure their children enjoy their childhood with plenty of fun activities, while still maintaining a clean and beautiful home for them to grow up in.
But let’s imagine a world where your child is responsible for their own mess, specifically their toys. What would that mean for you? What would that mean for your child?
For you, that means it’s one less thing you have to worry about or spend your time doing. You’re already running an entire household and family, maybe not having to worry about if all the markers have their caps on them is a welcomed thought.
For your kids, this would mean more independence! They would have yet another skill they can do on their own. This means they are one step closer to being the independent, responsible people you are raising them to be.
Teaching your children to clean up their toys when they’re finished playing helps them develop respect for their belongings, respect for the shared space they are in, and responsibility for their actions.
Of course, cleaning up messes doesn’t come naturally to children, so there will need to be a period of teaching before your child is independently tidying up. This process can be applied to children of all ages who are physically able to pick up an item. Although some kids may need more prompting, depending on their age or skill set, it is never too early to teach a child to value and care for their belongings.
1. Make sure everything has a place
Organize all the toys in bins, bags, or boxes so every item has a home
You may want to add labels (words or pictures). Your kids can even help with this part as a fun project!
When you have a designated spot for all of the toys, your child knows where to put them when they’re finished playing with them. This is setting your child up for success by making it as simple as possible for them.
This also makes their space well-kept and more enjoyable to play in. Imagine two different playrooms: one has toys all over the floor, with broken pieces or missing parts. The second playroom is organized, and everything they need to have fun is available for them, almost like a toy store or school setting. Which playroom are kids more likely to want to play in?
Donate or throw away any toys your kids grew out of or are broken. Eliminate anything your kids don’t need or want anymore. This reduces the clutter and leaves only toys your kids value.
Limit your toys
Adopt the “toy rotation” routine, so you always have “new” toys to rotate when your child gets bored of the current toys. This is a magical system that extends the life of your child’s toys by creating novelty and excitement by limiting access to some of their toys. As humans, especially children, we become satiated easily if we have access to the same things all the time.
This is similar to when you always have the same flavor of ice cream in the house. You eat this specific ice cream flavor all the time, so it eventually loses its appeal. So, you take a break from it for a while, and when you come back to it you have a whole newfound love for it.
2. Teach your child the system
You will have to show your child your system. Show them where their books live, where the blocks go, and how to zip up the bag with the puzzle pieces.
You will also have to teach them when to implement this system. The easiest rule is, “Whenever you’re finished with a toy it goes back into its ‘home’”. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Maybe your kids are working on a big puzzle, so it stays out for a few days, or maybe they’re playing an elaborate game of house and you called them for lunch, but they want to leave their toys so they can finish playing when they’re done eating. It’s up to you to determine all the ins and outs of your system based on what works best for your family. But once you have determined the system, teach your children the how (where things go) and the when of it all.
Teach your children specifically what is required for each toy and what are the expectations. For markers, we put the caps on and put them back in the bag. For puzzles, we put all the pieces back in its box or bag so they don’t get mixed up. For paints, we wash the brushes. Kids don’t know what they don’t know. So make sure to tell and show them what exactly you mean by, “clean up”.
Make cleaning an activity we do together because we all made the mess. This will help teach your children accountability for their actions.
Another method I use when teaching kids to clean up is to say that I will help as long as they will help. Even though it’s not my mess, I know cleaning up big projects can be difficult and overwhelming for kids. So I’m happy to help, as long as they are. This tends to help get your child through the clean-up process easier.
*Bonus- This also shows your child that we can help others, even if it’s not our mess or responsibility.
3. Set aside time
If you have a scheduled event, like bedtime or leaving the house, make sure to allow enough time beforehand for clean up. This will make cleaning up a priority for your family. It emphasizes the expectation that we clean when we are finished playing, even if we have somewhere to be.
This will also teach your child about time management and following through with responsibilities.
4. Be consistent
Follow through with this new system. At first, you’ll have to remind your kids and help them through it, but eventually, they will build the skills to take care of their belongings and space on their own. If you are consistent, they will eventually be consistent too.