How To Play With Your Child

The pressure to play with your child can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when you have just walked through the door after a busy day at work, the dog needs to be walked and you still have to figure out what’s for dinner. You know it’s important to play with your child. Heck, maybe it’s even a welcomed part of your day- to be able to take a break from adult interaction to engage in a simple tea party with your 4-year-old and her stuffed animals. But sometimes the idea of playing with your kids can be exhausting, time-consuming, or even scary. Whether you feel too busy or unsure of how to interact with your kids playfully, there are plenty of ways to work through this.

Before we dive into how to play with your child, let’s review why it is essential to play with your child:

  • It teaches them social play skills they can use with their peers
    • Sharing, turn-taking, creative play, winning/losing, relationship building, etc.
  • It helps develop a playful bond between you and your child
    • Your child starts to see you as a whole person, not just someone who provides food, enforces rules, and runs off to work. 
  • It fosters trust and security for your child.
    • Children learn boundaries and how to interact with the world around them through play.
Keep in mind: 
Although playing with your child is essential to their development and in creating a strong parent-child bond, it is just as important for your child to play independently. Independent play teaches children self-resilience, creativity, self-soothing, and overall a sense of independence

Now that we understand the why, let’s dive into how to play with our children.

Determine What Your Child Is Interested In🧐

Of course, not all kids are interested in the same things. In fact, the same child may switch interests often, like daily or hourly. Trying to keep up with the ever-changing mind of a 6-year-old can be tricky. This is why it’s important to assess their current interests.

We call this a preference assessment. Although there are many ways to go about this, here are two methods that will be helpful in zeroing in on how your child enjoys spending their time:

>Free Operant

You can simply observe what your child is interested in as they play freely. This is something that is easy enough to do in your daily life- take note of what your child is naturally drawn to.

>Paired Stimulus

This is when you pick two toys/games/activities and have your child choose one. This can be helpful when a child is overwhelmed with too many choices and may do better with a more simplified method for choosing an activity.

A quick note about this: 
Your child may enjoy something that doesn’t seem like typical play to you and that’s ok! Take note of how your child spends their time, whether it makes sense to you or not. Remember, there is no wrong way to play. Once you have determined your child’s preferred activities you can more easily incorporate yourself into their play.

Add To Their Play🎉

Playing with your kid can look different depending on you, your child, and the activity/toy. No matter the situation though, you always want to think, “how can I ‘add’ to their play?” Meaning, what can you contribute that will make what they are already playing more fun or more valuable to them?

For example, if your child loves playing house, maybe with dolls and stuffed animals, you could find a creative way to make a house for the dolls out of cereal boxes, Legos, or construction paper and crayons. Bringing a new idea to your child’s play will teach them how to get creative with their play and think outside of the box, instead of relying on their same old script of playing house with their dolls.

Or, maybe you grab a stuffed animal or doll your child isn’t using and make up your own character to bring to the house-playing party!

The key here is to get creative! There’s no wrong way to play, so find your own flare and bring it to the table. Your kids will see the effort and love your involvement, no matter how it’s presented to them.

Find Something New✨

Children are finicky and can be stubborn.  They may not even know they like something until they’ve tried it, or seen it played out. (We’ve all heard the I-hate-broccoli-cries only to find out they actually love eating trees like the dinosaurs do).

As the fun, playful parent, you can be the one to introduce them to a new way of playing through creativity. If they always color with crayons at the kitchen table, try painting with them in the backyard. If they tend to play board games in their room, offer to build a tent using blankets and couch cushions for the next big Monopoly showdown. If you read books together, maybe today you act out a well-known story instead of reading the book. Find ways, big or small, to bring novelty and creativity to your child’s play. Thinking outside the box could be an easy way for you to contribute to the fun.

Bonus Tip: 
In the spirit of novelty, try dividing your child’s toys and books into two groups. Keep one group tucked away in a closet where your child won’t see them. The other group can be available to play with freely. Every once in a while, maybe every month or two, you can rotate the two groups of toys. This way, your child gets to experience “new” toys/books more often without you having to buy more things for them. This magic trick tends to work well to eliminate the age-old complaint of, “there’s nothing to do”. Keep the novelty alive without breaking the bank!

Play On The Go🚗

Sometimes it may not be possible to pause your day for an extensive playdate with your child. That’s ok! Since there’s no wrong way to play, we can create our own methods. For example, you could sing songs together while driving to school, or give your child a simple cooking task (count out 8 potatoes, gather the ingredients from the fridge, etc.) while you’re cooking dinner.

For a child, playing with their parent is so much more than the actual game or activity. Whether they admit it or not, spending quality and engaging time with you is all that matters. Making memories, laughing, and connecting should be the only focus as you are playing with your child. Everything else will fall into place.

Bonding Activity Ideas🥰

We now know why it’s important to play with your child, we’ve assessed what they like to do for fun, and we figured out how to add to their play and create novelty, even on the go. Now, here’s a list of activity and play ideas for you to reference when you’re feeling stuck.

  • Have a picnic in the backyard
  • Practice writing numbers and letters with finger paint 
  • Build a lego replica of your house
  • Trace your child’s body on a giant piece of paper and color in the clothing
  • Bake and decorate cookies
  • Build a maze out of recyclables for your pet mouse 
  • Create a scavenger hunt to find a hidden “treasure” 
  • Play I spy while driving in the car
  • Write letters to family members and mail them
  • Write a play or a song and record it to watch later
  • Set up a cozy blanket tent for movie night 
  • Make up and build a board game using old cereal boxes
  • Put together a playlist and listen to it on a car trip
  • Make up a story- taking turns adding on to the next part of the story
  • Set up a grooming salon to bathe your dog in the backyard or bathtub. 
  • Create a menu for your child to be a waitress and take everyone’s order for dinner that night
  • Have a dance party in the kitchen 
  • Collect leaves or rocks to paint on 
  • Make popsicles using juice and fruit in ice cube trays

Remember, there’s no wrong way to play. Big or small, indoors or outdoors, DIY or store-bought, play is what you make of it. It can look different for us all, but the important thing is we’re having fun and nurturing a loving, creative, and playful bond with our child.

Let us know below some of the fun ways you engage with your child!